


Green Light

by lowaters



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:11:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10097150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowaters/pseuds/lowaters
Summary: “Quite beautiful?” Cat repeated, smirking, “well then I guess I should write home about being quite beautiful.”While Cat’s tone was playful, Kara felt words bubbling up before she felt the consequence of them, wanting Cat to know that Kara’s downplaying was a defence, not the truth.“I didn’t mean it that way, Miss Grant. I- you’re stunning. Really,” Kara said emphatically, as Cat gave a weak chuckle. “It’s- it’s hard to look at you sometimes, truthfully.”





	1. Chapter 1

“Your latte, Miss Grant.”

The morning started as every morning had for the past year of having Kara as her assistant.

Latte, exquisitely made, warmed, resting in her outstretched palm as she left her private elevator.

But Cat knew, even as she tried to avoid looking, that the Kara she would see would be the one of the last week. No more smiles, shy, wide, timid or otherwise.

No, this Kara would have a mouth in a set line, sometimes curved at the edges in a simulacrum of welcoming, but Cat could see right through it. And small would never be a word Cat would use to describe Kara, but here she was, cowed, head tilted downwards as she looked at Cat’s hand, curved around the coffee cup, and making no effort to look any higher.

“That will be all, Kiera,” she said with finality, and the girl nodded, once, before walking quickly to her desk.

If Cat was a woman who faltered, she would have paused, and turned to look at her assistant. To say something, in a moment of weakness; to question, to burn, to ache.

But Cat did not falter, could not falter, and took sharp steps towards her office.

_How did things go so awry?_

\---

_One week ago_

“When have you ever known me to lie, Kiera? I’m telling you, he had one hand down his pants and the other in my filing cabinet and I don’t think he knew which one to move first.”

Kara was snorting in mirth, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth in delight.

Cat gave a small, unavoidable smirk and brought the bourbon to her lips to hide it while Kara settled down.

It was nearing 10pm, and God knows Cat needed the lightness after the day she’d had. One board member had resigned, and while she can’t particularly be sad about it, she does wonder if she could have done anything to prevent it.

That was at 11am, and since then, her day had descended into what she felt comfortable calling unmitigated chaos. She felt a headache coming on at 1pm when one of her _reporters_ felt it wise to tell her there was _no news_ to report.

So came the second employee departure of the day.

She blamed her current indulgence on her bad day. She should be working, she knows this. Or at least, if she’s not working, going home to retire in the comfort of her house – not here, lavishing her assistant with grand tales from her time at CatCo, relishing in her amusement as she steadily drank her way through generous measures of bourbon.

“I’m very glad I wasn’t there to see that, Miss Grant,” Kara replied once her laughter had settled into a soft grin.

“Believe me, Kiera, there was not much to see,” Cat said snippily, setting Kara off into giggles again.

They had spent the past three hours like this. Cat, diving back into memories from her years as a reporter, climbing the ranks, until her time her at CatCo. Kara was more enraptured than ever, hearing about this woman as a turbulent reporter and how she had refined and expanded to the ruler she was today.

Kara took it all in, sharing sanitized versions of her own childhood in response to Cat’s tales.

“When I moved in with the Danvers, things were…difficult, to say the least. But I got the sense that they were good people and that helped, helped to adjust you know? But there were so many things I wasn’t used to. Like, playfighting – I didn’t get it. I’d never had siblings, never had people _fight_ affectionately, it didn’t make any sense. So, one time, Alex snuck up on me. She thought it would be funny, I guess, to make me jump but I didn’t know that’s what she was doing. I assumed she’d been waiting to attack me, so when she jumped on me I flipped her over my shoulder and ran. I don’t know how long I ran for, but I remember waking up on the beach and my heart was still beating too fast.”

“What made you go back?” Cat questioned softly, and watched the telltale shift of Kara’s eyes prompting her to add, “and the truth please, Kiera.”

“I…” she paused to laugh, in remembrance and embarrassment, “I woke up at 6pm and I knew if I left than I’d be back in time to eat dinner. I was hungry.”

Cat’s peal of laughter caught Kara by surprise, and Kara joined in, more because of the sound of Cat’s laughter than anything she had said. Kara looked at her boss, so relaxed and light, and her focus must have caught Cat’s attention because her laughter settled and she arched her brow in question.

 “What are you looking at Kiera?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Grant, you’re just…quite beautiful. I just- noticed more just then, I guess,” Kara muttered, embarrassed at having been caught.

“ _Quite_ beautiful?” Cat repeated, smirking, “well then I guess I should write home about being _quite_ beautiful.”

While Cat’s tone was playful, Kara felt words bubbling up before she felt the consequence of them, wanting Cat to know that Kara’s downplaying was a defence, not the truth.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Miss Grant. I- you’re stunning. Really,” Kara said emphatically, as Cat gave a weak chuckle. “It’s- it’s hard to look at you sometimes, truthfully.”

Kara wasn’t bashful when she said it. It would have made it easier, Cat would think later, if she had been. If Cat had seen shyness and hero worship in her eyes – _that_ she could write off.

But Kara’s voice was steady, as was her gaze. She was so damn earnest.

“Yet you still look, don’t you?” Cat asked rhetorically, feeling warm under Kara’s gaze. “I built an empire of glass, I know when I’m being watched.”

“How would you know that if you’re not looking too?” Kara challenged, and this thing between them felt charged, electric in a way Cat hadn’t allowed before.

Cat already knew it was different from any other time they had spoke like this. They’d never _really_ spoken like this – Cat operated in subtlety, in cloaked words under sharpness and professionalism.

She lacked that now – now that her assistant was challenging her, questioning her. Kara would not submit in this like she did everything else, and that knowledge made Cat feel reckless.

“Looking is fine, Kiera. Nothing bad ever came from looking.”

“And acting, Miss Grant? What comes of that?”

“Well, Kiera,” she said, deliberately placing her glass on the table with a dull _thunk_ and spreading her hand out in approximation of a verbal invitation. “Act and you’ll find out.”

Cat knew what she was doing. Knew this was a seduction, if she had to put a word to it.

Kara knew, too. Knew what was being asked of her, knew Cat would not move first, not now, not ever. She towered over Cat now, standing while Cat sat, and she couldn’t quite believe her own boldness.

“Let’s find out,” Kara breathed, bending down to kiss Cat, capturing her jaw between strong hands.

Cat felt sluggish, lulled by the smooth strokes of Kara’s lips over hers. She tasted sweet, she smelled of roses, and Cat was awash in another person in a way she hadn’t allowed for a long time. The kissing was gentle, no ferocity of passion that Cat might have expected, closed mouthed and soothing.

But Cat felt the burn of bourbon deep in her ribcage. Remembered the strength Kara carried in her, even if she wasn’t supposed to know. She thought about being cradled in her arms as Supergirl and wanting to bury herself there in the space Kara’s body made for hers.

It made Cat want more – made her open her mouth and breathe into Kara’s wantonly, slipping her tongue against Kara’s, keening. Kara responded to the change with finesse, matching Cat’s pace, until Cat reached up to thread fingers through Kara’s hair, sucking her tongue as she pulled.

Kara moaned low, reverberating in her ear, and the sound caused something to snap in Cat. The sound drove somewhere deep, low, and she felt every muscle in her body clench at hearing it.

This desire made her feel noxious, dark, like something that would stain Kara if she allowed it the chance to be free.

_Forgive me._

Cat raised her hands to Kara’s shoulders, pushing hard, once, and saw Kara’s blue eyes refocus on her face, uncertain.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“I’m drunk, Kara,” Cat breathed, not meaning the words to be punishing but knowing they were true. Kara withdrew, eyes wide, breathing heavily before she leaned backwards away from Cat. She looked wild, ruby lips from Cat’s attention, hair unravelled from Cat’s fingers. It was too much to look at and not enough all at once.

“I’m drunk and this would not have happened otherwise. You should go.”

“Cat, I-“

“My name is and has always been Miss Grant to you, Kiera. Now this won’t impact your job here but I think you’d do well to not mention it again.”

“I- you kissed me back,” Kara argued weakly, wondering how this had so rapidly escaped her control.

“And things fall when pushed, Kiera. It doesn’t mean they asked to be pushed.”

Her analogy didn’t make sense, but Kara’s blue eyes became impossibly bluer, and Cat saw the sheen of tears her words had provoked. Kara stayed frozen, and Cat didn’t need Kara to see weakness from her, any sense of hesitancy, so she needed to go.

“Leave, Kiera. Now.”

And Kara fled.


	2. Chapter 2

Kara stumbled from Cat’s office. Each breath felt heavy, from her earlier exertion and from trying to stop sobs erupting from her throat.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god, what have I done?_

She sprinted down the stairwell, desperate to get outside and feeling trapped by the gunmetal grey of the railings and cinder-block walls.

She leaned shoulder-first into the door at the bottom, heard the creak of the handle under her weight and knew it was decimated but not stopping to look.

The wind was bitter and it tore through her hair and would’ve smarted against her face if she were any more human. She licked her lips from the sudden dryness, catching a taste of Cat and her eyes shuttered unwittingly.

A sob tore from her throat immediately, and she rushed to clamp a hand over her mouth and closed her eyes bracingly.

_Get home, Kara. Get yourself together and fall apart later._

If the stern voice in her conscience sounded like Cat, she decided not to dwell on it.

\---

It took twenty minutes for her to get home, a mixture of running and fast-walking that felt more cathartic than a one minute fly home would. By the time she made it to her apartment, she had grazed her knuckles against every wall between there and CatCo, sticking to walls and darkly lit pavements to ground her and hide her tears from the sight of anyone still lurking on the city streets.

She was exhausted, and sad, and sleep seemed so far away. Taking off her glasses, she rubbed at her eyes and breathed deeply into her hands.

A buzz from her nightstand pulled her from her still position hunched on the bed. A cold fear gripped her heart when she leaned over to grab the phone, registering the words _Cat Grant._

_‘Don’t dwell on this, Kiera. You’re not at fault but it’s best forgotten.’_

While the text didn’t soothe the sting of rejection or sadness Kara felt overwhelmed by, it did ease her conscience, terrified that she had taken advantage on top of everything that had gone so catastrophically wrong tonight.

Kara wrote and re-wrote several texts, before settling on the most direct and easy to send.

_‘Thank you, Miss Grant. You won’t hear me mention it ever again. See you in the morning as usual.’_

Kara could partake in this dialogue, if it meant she wouldn’t have to ever again be in the position of knowing, wholeheartedly, that despite her idle fantasies and daydream, Cat didn’t want her. She’d dreamt so many times of telling her, of confessing her crush – her idle fantasy, of coyly asking Miss Grant for a drink after work, or of being at some conference, getting closer, shy smiles and tentative kisses.

Her fantasies never went much further than that. They were never more than idle – she never allowed herself that indulgence. But in every version of the fantasy where she told Cat her feelings, every wish she had that she was brave enough to tell her, she forgot to wish for Cat to want her back.

\---

Work was - difficult.

For her part, Cat was the same as usual.

She expected her latte in the morning, asked for a run-through of her diary straight after, and barked orders at _Kiera_ with no appearance of hesitation or question.

Even the very next day, when Kara had unusual difficulty selecting an outfit, pulled at it self-consciously for the first 30 minutes of the morning, Cat came in, offering a quick “good morning, Kiera” over her shoulder as she took a sip of her latte.

It was all so normal, and Kara felt anything but.

“Kiera!”

The door to Cat’s office was shut, but as usual, it appeared to do nothing to dampen the sound of Cat’s call.

Standing quickly, and smoothing down the front of her dress, Kara marched to the office, tablet in hand.

“Yes, Miss Grant?”

“I need a table for tonight – casual, somewhere quiet, maybe French, Italian.”

It wasn’t Cat’s usual request – not for a business meeting. She normally picked somewhere busier, somewhere exclusive that even Kara and her considerable pull with the fine restaurants of National City could not book with such short notice.

Kara didn’t want to know. Didn’t want confirmation of the horrible thought swirling in her gut, but -

“A table for how many, Miss Grant?”

“Two.”

Cat said it simply, continuing to type and not sparing Kara so much as a glance since she had entered the room.

“I’ll get right on it, Miss Grant.”

“See that you do, Kiera, I need tonight to go well.”

Kara paused for a second, but found she had nothing to say. Cat was – something to her once. But it felt like it had all burned to ashes once she kissed her.

She walked out, continued with her day, and Cat did the same.

\---

Metal folded under her fist, her very own crumple zone, as she lashed out at sheet after sheet.

She had been training more and more, and Alex’s elation at seeing her sister around so much this past week had yet to tip into concern, but Kara knew it was coming. Saw the thoughtful looks Alex gave her through the window when her fists hit that bit harder, when she gritted her teeth and kicked against blocks that she had no hope of breaking.

Kara sagged heavily against one such block, hearing Alex’s breath, Alex’s footsteps, minutes before she’d reached the door.

“Kara?” Alex questioned from the door, hesitant, forgetting that Kara must have known she was coming and could have escaped if she chose to.

“Hey Alex,” Kara said, still leaning against the metal. She was tired – bone weary in a way that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“How are you doing? Think you’re pushing it a little hard in here?” Alex questioned and Kara knew the peace of the DEO was coming to a halt as she’d predicted.

She felt Alex’s hand, warm and solid, on her shoulder. She drew strength from it as she always had.

“I’m…being in here helps, Alex. I did something- stupid, that…I want to talk to you about, I _will_ talk to you about,” Kara emphasised, knowing it to be true, but “right now, I need to just be here and do this. Just for a little while longer, okay?”

Kara held Alex’s gaze, and whatever Alex saw there must have appeased her as she squeezed Kara’s shoulder.

“Okay, Kara.”

\---

Kara patrolled the city, sweeping low in the sky and scanning half-heartedly for trouble. If she were being honest, she mostly needed the space of the city to allow her to think.

She worried over what to tell Alex – how much to tell Alex – and knowing that she would tell her to quit. She knows Alex would thunder, and breathe heavily, and Kara would feel small and could imagine Alex telling her things she _knew._ She _knew_ how stupid it was, knew how cruel Alex thought Cat was.

And how could she explain to Alex that she still wanted her job? It was stupid – she couldn’t even really explain it, why it meant so much to her. But she knew that a day with Cat Grant at her worst, even with the ache that had settled firmly in her heart since last week, was better than a day with almost anyone else.

Reluctantly, Kara heard the bells of the city chime, signalling 9pm and the end of her patrol if she hoped to get any work done before bed.

As she hovered low, the lights of Ducasse caught her eye. She startled, alarmed, that she had gotten so close without realising it, uncertain at how her body drew her to where she knew Cat to be without knowing.

She warred with indecision, knowing it was wrong, knowing how painful this would be for her. To see Cat somewhere casual, _quiet,_ somewhere just for two, with no room for her.

But part of her, some foolish, masochistic part, thought knowing for sure that Cat remained uninterested would help her to move on. She thought that seeing Cat, no doubt on the arm of a handsome man, _infatuated,_ would speed up the recovery process that Kara already felt ruined by.

That part won out, and Kara settled onto the ground, sticking to the shadowy side of the street and scanning the restaurant for Cat’s familiar figure.

She found her, leaning forward on the table, chin resting on her hand and a contented smile on her face. She looked radiant, and _happy,_ as she sat and listened.

Kara breathed deeply then, bending her knees to push herself towards the heavens, feeling full and empty at once, watching as Cat once more laughed delightedly at the mop of curls opposite her as Carter sunk a spoon into his ice cream sundae.


	3. Chapter 3

Cat woke up feeling light, the warmth of her evening permeating her dreams into the next day.

She relished every evening she got to spend with Carter – his quiet joy, his intelligence, and nights like last night would always mean so much to Cat.

It made it easier to get through the day, but she knew by around 2pm that a night like that wasn’t going to be possible tonight, nor for the next day or two.

She loved and hated CatCo in equal measure on days like today. Days where there was so much happening that without a steer the whole thing would deviate of course. That she got to be that steer was a privilege, she knew, but it was also _hard._

Kara hadn’t left her side all day, and for that she was grateful.

“Do you have the slides from-“

“On the server, Miss Grant, but I can put a copy on your desktop if you’d-“

“No, I’ve got it. Can you read through editorial’s first copy, I’m not sure where I left-“

“Already on it, do you want notes by hand or-“

“Shorthand, whatever’s quickest for you, I’ll read-“

“Back to you in 20, Miss Grant, once you’ve finished the slides.”

The harmony of their work was soothing to Cat’s oncoming headache, the sheer number of things that needed to be accomplished before she could go to bed making her head throb.

When Cat leaned, Kara gave, the familiar routine soothing something Cat had done her best to ignore the past two weeks. After 20 minutes, as Kara had predicted, she was finished with the slides and reaching out for Kara’s notes. She scanned quickly, and not for the first time feeling thankful that Kara Danvers had made her way to her.

Cat looked up, and sensing her gaze, Kara met her eyes.

“This is good, Kiera,” Cat said, nodding at the younger woman. There was so much more she wanted to say, to put to bed, but Kara must have felt the relief too – felt something mending, if broken, between them.

She smiled, small, and reserved, but it was there. “Thank you, Miss Grant.”

\---

“Boo! Cheater!” Kara yelled playfully, as Alex scooped the victory spoils of potato chips from under Kara’s nose.

“Your nose twitches everytime you get a good hand, Kara, it’d be embarrassing if I lost to you.”

Kara rubbed at her nose in annoyance, but endured Alex’s familiar teasing.

“I could just x-ray your cards, Alex,” Kara challenged smugly, but Alex’s laugh quickly turned it to a pout.

“First of all, that’s not how x-rays work, and secondly, I still think I’d win- hey!” Alex finished, as Kara threw a chip directly into her open mouth.

“Sorry, I’m a sore loser,” Kara replied with a grin, using superspeed to grab the bag from Alex’s hand and digging in before shoving a face full of chips into her mouth.

“Ugh, _gross._ I think that’s my cue to leave before I get sprayed with the inner workings of a potato.”

Kara watched, oddly quiet, as Alex collected her things.

“Right, I’ll see you Wednesday for pool right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you then. Hey, um, Alex?”

“Yeah Kara?” She replied, pulling on her coat.

“Y’know, at the DEO, when I was…”

“Wailing against the metal? And not talking about the thing we’re not talking about? Yeah I know.”

“Well, um, I think I’m ready to talk…about it…if, if that’s okay?”

Alex stopped fastening her coat, and replied almost instantly, “of course it is, Kara. You can tell me anything.”

“I- can we sit?”

“Hey, Kara, whatever it is, it’s okay,” Alex reassured, holding Kara’s shoulders and slightly worried about the uncharacteristic nervousness she felt from her sister.

“I kissed someone, Alex. Someone- you don’t know. But it was selfish of me, they didn’t want me back, and now nothing’s the same. Things were fine, and I…it was just a crush, Alex, I _swear,_ I never once thought to do something about it. But I…well I read it wrong, obviously,” Kara scoffed, still angry at herself for the weakness even while she felt pained happiness at having, even for a second, felt Cat Grant, soft beneath her.

“Oh, Kara, I’m so sorry. Are you sure they don’t feel the same way?” Alex questioned softly.

“I’m…I’m not sure they’d ever notice me if I wasn’t around all the time. I don’t think they notice me now, Alex. I- Rao, Alex, I don’t know how to even look at them without it _hurting.”_

“Kara, honey,” Alex soothed, feeling helpless at the despair in her sister’s voice.

“It was just a kiss, Alex. One stupid kiss, and I’ve ruined everything.”

“Kara, I’m sure it’s not that bad-“

“It’s not! You’re right, and it still _hurts._ They’re being normal, and kind- for them,” she added as a caveat, “and I can’t move on from it. I feel so stuck and I don’t know how to stop.”

“It’s only been two weeks, Kara. These things take time.” Alex reached over for Kara’s hands, pulling them into her and drawing Kara across her body as she took her into her arms.

Kara breathed deeply into Alex’s shoulders, taking comfort in the familiarity of her sister’s embrace.

“I’ve felt so out of place for so long, Alex. And she made me feel normal, like- just Kara. Just me, with no cape, nothing else, was enough.”

Alex paused at the pronoun, filed it away, but otherwise didn’t pause in her soothing rub of Kara’s back.

“You- everything you are, have ever been, and will ever be - is enough, Kara. It’s more than enough,” Alex whispered gently, and wiped tears away from her sister’s eyes for the first time of many that evening.

\---

Kara woke up sprawled over the couch, legs dangling haphazardly over the arm of the couch as her head contorted to burrow into the cushions. She was dazed, for a second, before a neon green post-it note caught her eye on a glass of water on the table.

_‘Had to go to work and you looked too cute to wake up. Call me later – I mean it Kara. Love you, Alex’_

Kara smiled fondly, grateful and not for the first time that fate brought her into the care of the Danvers.

Yesterday had set a piece of herself back in place, between the familiarity of working efficiently with Cat, what Kara interpreted as a reckoning of peace between them, and a night spent being soothed in her sister’s arms after her half-confession.

Kara had a heart so full for her family, for her friends, for every citizen of this city. And she had built this life from the ground up, filling it with the DEO, with CatCo, with beautiful things and history and made a life that was hers, separate from Supergirl, separate from an impenetrable superhero’s shallow existence.

For the first time in a fortnight she felt hope that the texture of her life would not be blighted by a moment of impulse, and naivety. Cat had forgiven her, she had moved past it, and Kara would do the same.

She flew to Noonan’s, picked up Cat’s latte, and stopped off once more before reaching the office.

As Cat began to dictate a list of tasks for Kara to do, she paused, looking at the empty jar on her desk that had been filled since last night when she’d looked longingly and angrily at its lack of filling for the past two weeks.

“M&Ms, Kiera?” Cat questioned, and was worried the seemingly nonsensical interruption wouldn’t make sense to Kara, but of course it did.

“M&Ms, Miss Grant,” Kara confirmed, smiling, and she knew they would be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

_‘One, two, three, four, tell me that you love me more…’_

Kara hummed happily at her desk, fingers flying across the keyboard. It was two- no, _one_ hour- until Carter would be in the office, and Kara knew that Cat would let her dally for the last hour of work if she and Carter became excitable enough. It was a manipulation, she knew, but one that made all parties happy so she didn’t feel much guilt over it.

She had spent all of today in the office, a rarity that nothing big enough required Supergirl to rescue the city, so she ended up spending a large portion of her day looking up recipes, reading film reviews, and generally doing things Cat certainly didn’t pay her to do. She figured it wasn’t that much of a stretch to spend a little time now looking up exhibits in the city, hoping she’d find something Carter would be interested in.

If she could give him a little bit of joy, could get that warm smile, well – then Kara Danvers would consider this a day well spent.

She made a neat list of bookmarks of different museum and gallery sites, in case she needed to pass any details onto Cat, and had two bowls of candy, sweet and savoury, perched on the edge of her desk. Feeling very Carter-ready, she again hummed to herself, smile growing wider as she heard the tell-tale purr of the elevator coming to life.

Kara jumped up, reaching for her glasses and pushing them up the bridge of her nose, and walked quickly to the door of the elevator.

“Hey Carter!” She announced as the doors opened, standing a few feet back so as not to startle him.

“Kara!” Carter said excitedly, pulling at the straps of his backpack as he gave a shy smile.

“Well come on in, buddy. Your mom’s on a call right now but- look! We’ve got candy and TV and- well, I guess that’s it, but come on over anyway.”

Carter rushed over to Kara’s desk, through the throng of too-loud and too-big bodies, jumping up onto her chair.

“Oh, Kara, s-sorry,” Carter stumbled, realising he’d left nowhere for Kara to sit and blushing red with swift embarrassment.

“Hey, buddy, no, it’s okay,” Kara smiled, patting his shoulder gently. “You’re getting far too tall anyway, I kinda like you down there on the chair while I-“ Kara said, pushing herself up so she sat on her desk and turning to face Carter, “-rule from up here. Think that’s funny, huh?” Kara teased Carter gently, who had taken to laughing at Kara’s hands on hips pose.

_He liked it when Supergirl did it,_ Kara thought to herself with amusement.

“Sooo….what do you want to do for the next hour? With your mum being busy, you’re basically my boss.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Really? I feel like your mom would prefer CatCo worked like a monarchy than let anyone who wasn’t a Grant have power…Don’t tell her I said that.”

“I won’t,” he said, giving Kara a small, amused smile.

“First, snacks. Second, Sudoku race,” Kara said decisively, knowing Carter relished the rhythm and logic of the game, while Kara herself relished in his proud grin when he inevitably won.

“Deal.”

\---

Cat left her meeting twenty minutes later than she planned, feeling the pinch of tension in her shoulders and a mild throb at her brow. She wondered when her biology would catch up to the fact that her life was _always_ going to be this hard, and then wondered if that’s why her body persisted in reminding her of the fact that she made it that way.

The meeting was not a bust, thankfully. It was burdensome, certainly, having to meet with every single department and not conceding some oversight functions to senior execs, but she had built CatCo any only she knew its structures, its weaknesses. She couldn’t parse that off on someone else – couldn’t live with herself if her tiredness caused the demise of something she’d given up almost everything to built.

She shook herself out of her pensive thoughts, glancing at her watch and smiling in relief when she remembered that Carter would be waiting for her. She quickened her pace, jabbing at the elevator button in annoyance and after a second of hesitation, ducked into the stairwell. It was only two floors down, she rationalised, and the place would be almost empty.

She pushed on the door, looking out at the bullpen and couldn’t miss Carter and her assistant even if she’d been trying.

“Wider, wider, stop! Okay, perfect. This is Miss Danvers’ third time at the CatCo circuit, following two failed attempts due to a treacherous teammate-“

“Hey!”

“-nope! No talking, mister, mouth open. Now, Miss Danvers is going for the record _three_ M&Ms. She’s got the red, blue, and orange-“

“I _hate_ orange,” Carter whined petulantly, and Cat couldn’t quite believe the sight of her son, leaning back in her assistant’s chair, so animated, all while Kara threw _candy_ into his mouth.

“Okaaaay, she’s got the red, blue and _blue_ all lined up. Ready?”

“Nghh,” Carter agreed, keeping his mouth open.

“She shoots, she-“ Kara paused, focusing on bracing her arm to get the candy to land on Carter’s tongue while making sure she didn’t choke the poor boy, “-and she scores!”

“How?” Carter asked mystified, not believing his mom’s clumsy assistant could land a sweet with that accuracy from 10 foot away.

“Believe it, buddy,” Kara replied smugly, hopping off the desk and beginning to walk back towards Carter.

“Miss Grant,” Kara stated, going rigid, baffled as to how she had missed the sound of Cat’s elevator, but writing it off as her intense focus on the _very_ important matter of beating a teenager at an inconsequential game.

“Mom!”

“Come here,” Cat said warmly, as Carter rushed towards his mother and wrapped his arms tightly around her middle. Kara felt warmed by the scene, but distinctly out of place as she always did, knowing Cat wouldn’t want her to see this side of her, but knowing she couldn’t bear to turn down affection from her son.

“How was your day, sweetheart?” Cat asked, and Carter began speaking rapidly, tripping over his words as Cat looked on patiently, in awe of her boy as always.

Kara ducked out to use the restroom, but in actuality, just wanted to give Cat the luxury of enjoying her son to herself for the first few minutes, knowing how much time with Carter meant to Cat. She stood outside the door, waiting for a time that was both acceptably long, so they could actually have a conversation, and not long enough for it to be concerning.

Kara re-entered the room, walking soundlessly to her desk. She hovered there, desperately wanting to leave because she couldn’t stay or contribute in any meaningful way, but not wanting to leave as soon as Cat arrived. She didn’t want Cat to think she couldn’t stand being in the same room as her – because that was _mostly_ not true now – and didn’t want Carter to think her time with him was a placeholder, a duty, until Cat could be with him. While it was strictly true that Cat asked Kara to spend time with him officially on occasion, she would give Carter her time freely and unreservedly, Cat or no Cat. He really was a great kid.

“-and then Kara beat me at Sudoku, but only once and it was because I missed a 3 because I _hate_ 3s so I wasn’t paying that much attention to them, but then I won 2 times-“

“Kid, maybe don’t tell your mom how much smarter you are than me, she might want me out of the job,” Kara joined in, smiling down at Carter.

“Mom wouldn’t do that, Kara, she says you’re too useful.”

“Carter-“

“Useful, huh?” Kara responds, as if Cat hadn’t interrupted. She wasn’t hurt by the comment, not really. She was slightly happy, if anything, that Cat spoke to her son about her in any capacity, even if it was to liken her to a handy rake you kept in the back yard.

“Yup, and then Kara made this list of cool things she thought I’d like in the city, like all the days the planetarium is holding and the best exhibitions in National City – here, look,” he said, pushing the paper Kara has painstakingly spent the afternoon building towards Cat. “Isn’t that cool, mom?”

“It is,” Cat responded, paper crinkling under her fingers slightly, before turning her gaze to Kara. “That was very thoughtful, did you say thank you, Carter?”

“A bunch of times. It’s no problem, I’m glad you liked it.” Kara made an overt gesture of checking her watch, before looking back at the collective Grants. “I’ll leave you guys to it. Is there anything you need before I leave, Miss Grant?”

Cat showered hesitance, which immediately made Kara nervous. Carter must have sensed the strange emotions pouring off both of the adults in the room, because he quickly moved towards Kara.

“I- well I wanted to ask you something, and I asked mom about it, and she says it’s fine, but you can say no, I don’t even know if you’d want to-“

“Hey, Carter, slow down okay? You haven’t even asked me yet and I’m 99.999% sure I’ll say yes.”

“Really?”

“Yep. So get to it,” she joked gently, feeling at ease that the request was coming from the younger Grant.

“I have a tournament on Tuesday, chess tournament, and mom says you’re good at it-“ how Cat knew that was beyond Kara at the moment, as was the knowledge _yet again_ that Cat spared her breath mentioning Kara to her son- “and I was hoping you could help me practice? Mom’s _terrible.”_

_“Mom_ is right here, thank you,” Cat reprimanded sharply, though Kara noted with a wry smile that she didn’t correct him.

“Sorry, mom,” Carter said swiftly, half-heartedly, already returning to plead with Kara. “Can you help? Please?”

“Of course, Carter,” Kara replied, as if it was ever a question. “I’m honored you thought of me.”

“Yes! Thank you, Kara,” Carter said with delight, walking quickly forward to give Kara a quick, tight hug before retreating back to where Cat stood, silent. “Can you do tomorrow?”

“If your mom can spare me, sure.”

“Well, I don’t think mom has monopoly over your evenings, Kara,” Carter joked, as realization started to sit, roiling and sudden, in Kara’s stomach.

“Evening?”

“Yeah, around 7. You know how to get to our house, right?”

“I-yes?” Kara half-responded, half-questioned.

 “Cool, I’ll see you then, bye Kara!” Carter waved cheerfully, clueless to the sudden tension in Kara’s gut.

“Bye Carter,” she replied distractedly, grabbing for her bag and almost stumbling towards the door.

“Good night, Kiera,” Cat called after her, pointedly, a jab at Kara’s lack of goodbye.

“I- yes, night Miss Grant,” Kara fumbled her way through a reply, before slinking into the staff elevator and jabbing ground furiously with her index finger.

_A night at Cat’s house,_ Kara thought, shaking her head exasperatedly. Of all the ways she imagined this circumstance to present itself, she’d never imagined it to be because she had to teach Cat’s _son_ how to improve at chess strategy.

_At least the world had a sense of humor._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the tags slightly, because this is not a total angst-ride (in fact, this chapter is the fluffiest thing so far). next chapter, i can't promise the same, and there will be more and more focus on cat/kara interactions now the story has been set-up


	5. Chapter 5

It was a beautiful day in National City, and Kara took the route to Cat’s house on foot.

Kara was embarrassed to admit the amount she had prepared for tonight. Not just the Cat part – though that certainly hadn’t helped – but she’d spent hours into the dark of night watching chess strategy and reading up on different plays. She would normally feel fairly secure playing a teenager in a chess club, but Grants always had a way of surprising her.

Plus, she couldn’t imagine something more painfully embarrassing than getting trounced at chess by Cat’s son in front of Cat. If only for her pride, she was thankful that she wasted a good evening pouring over tips.

It was still light out, so Kara marvelled at _this_ part of the city. She’d seen it from the sky, of course, hundreds of times, but the view from the ground always offered a different perspective. Everything seemed brighter here – the greens were so green, and kids rode their bikes up pedestrianised streets that glowed golden in the late evening sun.

A pretty perfect place to raise a family – she imagined that’s what drew Cat here.

Taking a cursory glance at her watch, she realised she still had another 15 minutes. A quick walk would get her there for around 5 minutes early which she’d learned, through trial and several errors, was Cat’s optimum arrival time.

_That way, Kiera, you can either get the thing started and over with, or ignore them until it’s the appropriate time. Either way, I win and they lose._

Kara gave a sharp rap on the door, hearing the quick gasp of Carter, a hushed _mom, Kara’s here_ and then heavy footsteps propelling towards the door.

“Kara!”

“Hey Carter,” Kara replied, gripping the strap of her bag tightly to her shoulder in nervousness.

“Do you want me to take your bag?”

“well that’s very polite of you, but it’s fine. Anyway, they’re presents!”

“Presents?” Carter echoed in awe, neither of them having left the hallway.

“Yeah, and if you let me in you might even get to see them,” Kara joked, and Carter immediately reached out to tug at the wrist of her shirt.

“Come on, come on, mom!” He finished on a yell, as Cat sauntered into the living room from the opposite door.

“Evening, Kara,” Cat said, not unpleasantly.

“Miss Grant,” Kara replied, tipping her head in greeting. “I didn’t know- well, I thought it’d be rude to show up empty handed. Here, Carter-“ Kara began, reaching into her bag, “figured you could have a little extra luck on your side tomorrow.”

Kara opened her palm, as Carter rushed up to her, hands held out in a begging motion. Kara deposited a single, round, bronze medallion.

“I, uh- I used to play a lot, when I was younger. And that was the first time I ever placed, so…I know it’s not gold I don’t want to jinx you or anything-“

Kara’s words, and breath, was cut off as small, long limbs wrapped tightly around her waist. It was not the first time Carter had hugged her, but it was certainly the longest. Kara looked up to Cat for something – guidance, permission – but her face was impassive. She looked down to the top of loose curls, and brought her hands around his shoulders, squeezing gently.

“Thanks, Kara,” he said, voice distorted from where his face was pressed into her side.

“You’re welcome,” Kara returned softly, warmed by his appreciation of the gift.

It was one of the things she had toyed with the most before coming. She knew Carter was a nervous kid, and knew that a physical reminder of the whole big world outside the tournament would soothe his agitation. But it seemed so- _intimate,_ in a way she didn’t know if Cat would approve. She didn’t want her to think she was overstepping, and in the end, this moment, although nothing she envisioned quite measured up, is what made her decide to take the plunge and bring the medal along.

“I’m going to go and put it in my bag now so I don’t forget,” Carter said, rushing off as quick as he’d arrived, presumably to his bedroom.

Kara looked to Cat, for a cue, as always, and Cat gestured to the dining table just off the side of the room.

Kara pulled a chair out, sitting down heavily and bringing her bag onto the table.

“Something for you as well, Miss Grant. Thank you for letting me come over,” Kara said stiltedly, uncertain of how to bridge the gap between professional courtesy and the deep knowledge that _no one_ in CatCo had set foot inside Cat’s house.

She prays she’s the only one to ever have that knowledge, in whatever capacity.

Cat took the bottle Kara had presented into her hands, twirling it, silent. Kara couldn’t hear the sound of Carter’s footsteps, so knew she would have to take the lead in the conversation.

“I know this isn’t the one you have in your office, but the bartender said-“

“You bought this from a bar?”

“I-yes?”

“What on earth possessed you?”

“Well, uh, I went to the store but they didn’t have the one you usually drink, ergo I thought a bar might have a better selection. But the bar didn’t, and nor did the next one, so I had to go with that. I hope it’s not too awful, Miss Grant.”

“Nonsense, Kiera, this is…yes, this is very good. How much did it set you back?”

Kara’s alien reflexes decided not to pitch into the conversation, because Cat must have caught something in her expression because she laughed, hard, once.

“That much, huh?”

“Good thing you just gave me a raise, I suppose.”

“So you can spend it all on me?” Cat intended it as a joke, but it was quite possible that the monthly pay increase Kara had received would just about cover the bottle. Kara turned red, and squirmed in her chair.

“Something like that,” Kara muttered, and Cat felt a sharp stab of discomfort at making Kara feel bad for having done something so wonderfully _kind._ As always.

She opened her mouth, helplessly, but Carter chose that moment to arrive, skidding into the living room with his chess set tucked neatly under his arm.

“Carter,” Kara exclaimed, and pushed back away from the table without a second of hesitation, obviously glad to be finished speaking with Cat.

Cat took the gesture for what it was, and stood up slowly, lifting the bottle and holding it by the stopper.

“I’ll get on with dinner while you two play,” Cat said, moving herself towards the kitchen.

\---

Cat was three drinks in.

Four? No, probably just three. Kara _really_ had good taste.

Cat had endured the occasional squealing that her house had now become privy to with Kara’s arrival, with only the smallest of grumblings. Some part of her really did relish the put-upon housewife role, as she moaned to herself under her breath about having to slave away over a hot meal while her son and lazy assistant played games.

Drinking this stuff made her a bit dramatic.

“Carter!” She shrieked with a practiced ease, and immediately heard the scrape of the chair as her son dutifully ran to the kitchen.

“Yes, mom?” He asked, breathlessly.

“Set the table, please, you can have another game with Kara after we’ve eaten.”

“Yes, mom,” he replied, already heading to the cupboard to pull out plats for the three of them.

When Cat returned to the living room, hot lasagne held carefully between her oven mitts, Kara and Carter were both sitting quietly, forks in hand, primed to eat. She knew, as soon as she set it on the table, that she would be fighting to get a piece for herself and she was not disappointed.

“Carter – less inhaling, more chewing, okay? We have a guest,” Cat reprimanded without any real strength, particularly as Kara looked chagrined because Cat’s comment could equally apply to her.

Dinner was –really nice. Most evenings, Kara ate by herself, content enough, but she didn’t even know she missed having dinners like this. The structure of cooking (or being cooked for), sitting at the table, easy discussion, catching up – she got it, more than ever, why this was something Cat fought tooth and nail to maintain even when it meant working until the early hours of the morning to make up for the lost evening hours.

Despite his protests, Carter had tired around 8.30pm, nerves and overthinking making him more tired than he would usually be. Cat had sent him to bed but she hadn’t yet asked Kara to leave.

They made their way from the kitchen, where they’d tidied in mostly companionable silence, to the living room.

“He’s wonderful, Miss Grant,” Kara commented, summing up her impression of Carter gleaned from this evening and all of their previous interactions. “I know that’s a polite conversation piece that people must use when they don’t know you but – it’s not empty. He really is wonderful.”

“Most people don’t think to mention him actually,” Cat countered, reaching to refill her tumbler and Kara’s along with it. “Big, bad, Cat couldn’t possibly care for anything, not even her own blood.”

“Miss Grant, I’m sure that’s not what people think.”

“Isn’t it?” Cat said sharply, looking at Kara with an intensity that made her want to shrink. “I’m not immune to whispers in _my_ offices Kiera, and nor am I unaware of my reputation. It’s a cost I’ve accrued in order to do the work that I do.”

“Which is…admirable, but it isn’t something you should just accept. And no one should say things like that, not when they don’t know you at all. That’s just _cruel,_ Miss Grant. Anyone just needs to take a look at Carter to see what a good mother you are to him. He's smart, and talented, and he's so kind, Miss Grant. No one big or bad could've raised someone as good as him."

"You think so, hmm?" Cat questioned laughingly, but Kara caught the flicker of doubt in her eyes

"I know so," Kara affirmed quietly.

"How do you do that?" Cat asked quietly, so quietly Kara wasn't sure if she was meant to have heard.

"Do what?"

Cat hesitated visibly, allowing some of the tension in her body to relax. She swallowed down another sip of bourbon, throat feeling tight.

"How do you see the good in me? Still?"

There was no mystery to Cat's words. The softly emphasised _still_ had Kara's heart beating in recollection, of a moment where Cat was this open and soft in another way.

Kara's defences had lowered - not through the luxury of alcohol as Cat's had - but through an evening of warmth and belonging that she didn't know she longed for until it happened. She was in Cat's house, sitting on her couch, after having spent the evening playing with her son, and a few weeks ago she didn't know if Cat would ever look at her again.

If her honesty, her reassurance, cost her some of her newly regained self-esteem - so be it. She felt it fair repayment for the joy the evening had brought her.

"Because you have done _nothing_ to prove you're anything other than good, Miss Grant. I've learned under you for over a year now, and every day I learn something from watching you, talking to you, and all those little moments you let me witness even though you don't have to. You've been good to me every day, well," Kara hesitated, but knowing if Cat was brave enough to intimate the question, she could answer, "not _every_ day but I...I shouldn't have expected anything different, not really," Kara said, smiling sadly. "Better to know now, than..."

Kara trailed off into silence. _Than when I fell in love with you? Than when I got so far in I couldn't find my way back out?_

Kara straightened, and Cat saw the way Supergirl poured through her, steeling her ligatures and everything soft about her turned _strong._

"You're excellent at your job, Miss Grant, and an excellent mother. It's nothing new to me, and I doubt anything could change that," she finished resolutely.

"Thank you, Kiera," Cat replied softly, tired, and unsure in a way she hated being. She'd seen the ache in Kara, thankful it appeared to be receding each day while still, selfishly, cruelly, wishing it remained. Hoping, in spite of her better judgement, that Kara was still thinking about her - still _hurting_ because of her, because it meant this wasn't something she could just write off and move on from, even though Cat had asked exactly that.

_What kind of monster wished for that?_

"It's getting late, Kiera," Cat replied, feeling that monster inside her expand, knowing that being near Kara - sweet, optimistic, Kara - while she was drunk, agitated and _torn_ was not in anyone's best interest.

"Of course, Miss Grant," Kara replied, like she expected it, moving quickly to grab her jacket and bag. She moved towards the door, and Cat trailed a few paces behind.

"I-" and Kara pulled Cat into a swift, soft hug, that Cat knew must have been acquired after years of training, and restraint, of not holding too hard or too soft. Cat sunk into that control for a second, before Kara pulled away. "Good night, Miss Grant," she finished, moving into the stairwell and disappearing into the shadows.

Cat couldn't sleep until it was light outside, and nothing was the same.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Cat moved through the day as if in a trance.

And Kara was just being so- so _normal,_ as if she wasn’t carrying this terrible, burdensome thing around with her all the time.

She moved through the office, smiling, _happy,_ and it was all Cat could do to breathe in and out and not crush something.

\---

_That morning_

Cat breezed into CatCo, trying and succeeding in looking like she’d had more than 3 hours sleep last night. Caffeine, make-up, and the inability of most of her employees to look at her helped with the charade, and it was one she was grateful.

The first person to make eye contact with her was Kara.

_Of course._

“Good morning, Miss Grant,” Kara said brightly with a smile, which dimmed slowly as Cat simply stared at her. “Miss Grant?”

“Yes. Yes,” Cat repeated, shaking herself out of her stupor, “good morning Kiera, let’s get on with today’s schedule, pronto,” she finished with a snap of her fingers, turning sharply away and walking into her office, hearing Kara follow behind her.

It was around five minutes in that Kara realised she most certainly didn’t have Cat’s attention. Kara had receiving nothing but sounds of mild agreement for the past minute at least, and if there were two words people wouldn’t use to describe Cat Grant is was _mild_ or _agreeable._

“Miss Grant?” Kara questioned, waiting until Cat registered the silence.

“Hm? Yes, what is it?” Cat snapped, straightening suddenly, coming into awareness under Kara’s knowing look.

“Is there something wrong? You seem…out of sorts,” Kara finished delicately.

Its effect didn’t succeed, as Cat laughed sharply, tiredly.

“You answered _how,_ Kara,” Cat said, and Kara’s breathed stopped at the sudden use of her name.

“Miss Grant-“ Kara interjected, unsure what was happening, feeling like she was in the middle of a conversation and she hadn’t said a single word.

“I know _how_ you still think I’m good, how you still care, Kara. What I don’t understand is _why.”_

“Why?” Kara asked, hesitant and unsure about where Cat was heading with her questions.

“Yes, Kara, why,” Cat repeated, signs of sleeplessness leaving her, fiery and pointed as Kara was used to seeing her. “Because I push you and you barely falter, and I can reign terror and you’re still here. I have given you no indication that I _need_ you here and God knows you don’t need to be here, so why?”

Kara said nothing, watching Cat as she drew in a breath, brimming with these thoughts that had plagued her.

“Why haven’t you gone to HR, hmm? Your boss, your _old_ boss, who clings to you more than she should, takes too many liberties, finally crosses a line. Why haven’t you said anything?”

Cat had stood up during her tirade, and Kara sat, calmer than she thought she’d be, as Cat’s gaze turned sharp.

“Stop, okay? Just- stop. For a second,” Kara added quickly, seeing Cat draw herself up, but Kara couldn’t listen to Cat drag herself down anymore.

“HR? Really?”

Cat stood firm, giving a little huff which Kara found endearing but wisely kept that thought to herself.

“And what would I say to them?” Kara questioned, rising from the sofa, putting her inches above Cat. “That I kissed my boss. And what? That I wanted her to kiss me more? I don’t think that’s an HR request, Miss Grant.”

“Kara-“ Cat began angrily, but Kara anticipated, and reached up to hold Cat’s arms in a soothing grip.

“There were no liberties taken that I didn’t give, okay? No lines – not on my side, anyway,” Kara added. “I don’t have all the answers, not to the questions you’re asking. I care about you because I can’t _not_ care about you. I don’t even know if that makes sense to you. Last night – listening to you, sharing things with you…that’s all I want, Miss Grant. There’s not some agenda, there’s not something I want, not really,” and at this Kara looked away, knowing Cat was what she really wanted.

“It’s not even about the- kissing you,” Kara said in a rush, still embarrassed, still feeling foolish, “that’s not _it,_ Miss Grant. It’s like- you know when you listen to a really good song? Like, _really good,_ it’s just the one you needed to hear, even if you weren’t really thinking about it, even if the lyrics didn’t really all make sense. But you hear it and it gets stuck in your head, and you’re singing it for hours even though so much else is going on around you.”

“No,” Cat replied quite honestly, and Kara laughed because she should’ve guessed an analogy that whimsical wouldn’t have made sense to her.

“Okay, well,” Kara began, adjusting her glasses nervously and drawing on her reserves of bravery. “I want to listen to you all the time – even when you’re being difficult, even when the things you say don’t entirely make sense. Even when I think I’d be better off somewhere else, I’d still rather listen to you than any song in the world.”

Cat made no movement, seemingly didn’t even react to what Kara had said. Kara sighed, and moved heavily towards the sofa to grab the tablet.

“I’ll finish moving the rest of your Thursday around and get you those layouts, Miss Grant,” Kara said before leaving the room.

Cat watched her leave, stunned, heart beating staccato against her chest. The things Kara said, the way it sounded-

Her phone beeped. She reached down distractedly, and raised her head to look for Kara when she saw the message was from her, but her assistant was nowhere to be seen.

_All those things I said? They mean I love you. Just wanted you to know._

_\---_

_Present_

Kara had disappeared for two hours after dropping her bombshell, and now she swanned through the office, smiles and lightness.

Like she hadn't just delivered something devastating and life-altering to Cat.

"Kara," Cat snapped, standing at the threshold of of her office, looking out at Kara chatting animatedly and jovially with Winn. "My office. Now."

Kara's smile settled into soft expression Cat could now recognise as being directed at her more than she had allowed herself to acknowledge.

"Miss Grant?" She queried softly.

"What am I meant to do with this?" Cat said, raising her phone in her left hand and she leaned her weight onto her right hand atop her desk.

"Do with it?" Kara laughed, finding the whole situation absurd and frustrating. "I've hid this from you for _months,_ Miss Grant. And it got us nowhere. So now I'm being honest and it's still not working. So how about you tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what _you_ want and I'll give it to you."

Cat felt hot at the promise, the sureness with which Kara spoke. It was as if Kara could smell the weakness, her indecision, because she moved forwards at lightning speed, standing at Cat's side and reaching for her hand.

"This shouldn't be difficult. I don't want this to be difficult - it's not for me. It's the easiest thing in the world to love you. I just want to look at you all the time, listen to your thoughts. I want to be near you," Kara said, hesitantly pulling Cat's hand up away from the desk, pulling her up and holding her hand in a loose grip. "What do you want?"

Cat was quiet for a minute, and Kara held her hand, solidly, even though she felt like crying or throwing up or burying herself away for a long time.

"What do you want, Cat?" Kara repeated gently, and Cat's breath hitched at the sound of her name said so softly.

"I want- I want to be able to say the things you just said to me. But I can't, Kara, I can't-"

"Okay," Kara said softly, pulling her hand slowly from Cat's grasp.

"No, Kara - I can't. I don't, I-" Cat struggled for words in her frustration. She turned to her desk, and Kara felt tears well up in her eyes in spite of herself.

She was so sure. She was so certain that Cat was scared after the kiss - that she hadn't imagined the flirtation, the care. She was so _sure_ of herself, that all Cat needed was a push, that she needed-

A beep interrupted Kara's thoughts, and she looked down to her pocket and fished out the phone, looking up at Cat briefly who sat, wide-eyed, perched against her desk.

_Important things should be said, not texted._

Kara looked up questioningly, as Cat seemingly steeled herself under Kara's attention.

"The next time you want to make some sort of declaration, say it to my face, Kara. I need to see your eyes to know if you're pedaling the truth or some platitude.

"Cat?"

"'I love you' - that's how you should have said it," Kara's heart stuttered at hearing the words come from Cat, even if she was just quoting her. Cat stood, stalking forward in the small space towards Kara. "'I love you' - see how much more it means when it's said out loud? Can you hear how much the person cares? Where they emphasise? 'I love _you_ ' - you're the only one I love, no one else. ' _I_ love you' - no one is going to love you the way I do."

Cat was in front of her now, and she reached forward and cupped Kara's jaw with both palms, searching her eyes for any hesitation. Kara didn't move, wary that this was a dream, as Cat leaned in, kissing her bottom lip gently, repeatedly, drawing more of Kara into her with each swipe of her lips and tongue.

"I _love_ you. That's what I want. Just you."

Kara had so many questions, and there were so many sounds in her head that were building into something vibrant, incomprehensible, something _good._

Her overworked brain quieted at the second press of Cat's lips against hers, softening her instantly.

"We have lots to talk about, I know. But talking's good," Cat promised.

"I love you," Kara breathed reverently, stroking the back of Cat's hands still cupping her face.

Cat smirked, leaning in to press another kiss against Kara's waiting mouth, disbelieving that she could just _do_ this now.

"I know."


End file.
